Sunday thoughts

Recently I’ve been asked quite a few times about what makes me happy. And what helps me get through difficult days and where I find motivation to go forward when I don’t see the path ahead of me clearly or when something I’ve hoped for or planned falls completely apart.

Apart from the fact that I try to find joy in the tiniest moments in my life, there are a few things I find particularly encouraging and fulfilling.

1) getting out – It’s the easiest way how to run away from the grey everyday, however, it must not be reduced only to running away any time you feel something is bothering you. For me it is more about the fact that no matter where I get out or what I do there (it can be a simple walk through the city centre), I am either focused on moving (and my thoughts are like flowing down the stream and they untangle flowing down with the current) or watching something (like the beautiful night views on Prague Castle or a sunset or just a bunch of kiddos playing football on the pavement), or doing something (as e.g. when I’m trying to follow a narrow bike trail and not to fall off or slide down or whatever :). It’s all about freedom. It is something you have to cherish, honour and enjoy. And it doesn’t implicitly mean you have to be alone to feel it.

2) music – In any form. When I’m happy, I’m listening to music. I’m singing, dancing, I let the music move my body and soul. And when I want to be happy, I use the same medicine. Some day it’s it’s melancholic melodies, classics, some day techno or trance, but some other days it can be pretty hard rock or metal music that cries and bellows instead of you, that gives away the tension that you are hiding inside. Sometimes it makes you cry, but it is usually just in the right time when you need it. And when you lay down, close your eyes and let the music flow through your veins, it’s the best infusion you can get.

3) writing (goes together with reading, actually) – Since I set off for the new way in my life, as you can see, I started to write again. Not only texts for this blog, but also keeping up with my diary. Although it is hard to find time to write all that, especially when a few people expect your reply to their e-mails and you basically have to write and express the same things over and over again, it’s worth it. You sort your thoughts, you put them into boxes, as the time goes by, you are also able to put them into a different perspective... Maybe one day I will burn the diary. I will delete the files. I will put the blog out. But at „difficult“ times it can help a lot. And to be honest, the most important for me is to note down exactly those tiniest moments when you feel happy. Just as I’m trying to do these days. Coz then when you get back to the texts in future, you can find out that, surprisingly, there have always been beautiful moments of sunshine between the grey clouds.

4) friends (or/ and family) – No matter what you talk about, no matter how often you see each other, no matter what you do... It can be only a short message, just a reminder ‚Hello! I’m still here! and I’m still your friend!‘ that can give you the right kick-off, or draw a smile on your face. I wish I had time to write all the e-mails I’d like to, I wish I could spend as much time with all the nice and caring people I’ve had in my life and that have been giving me such a lot by the sole fact that they still exist...

5) people – Sometimes I ‚hate‘ people. I need to be left alone, I need my ‚life space‘, I don’t want to see anybody and then best thing I can imagine is to pack Mr. Pieps and get to the woods or the mountains. But then you go out and meet people and you look at them and they look at you and you smile and you say hello and they do the same and you can be actually sure that they will remember that. And they will respond. Either straight forward or after some time. And if you are willing to interact in a positive way, you can be sure they will catch up and the result will be two or even more smiling people. It may sound overpositive. But you know, I’m no sunshine person. I swear a lot, I’m nervous, grumpy, clumzy, chaotic... But I love those precious moments when you have a chat with a complete stranger and in a few days or weeks or months you may develop some king of ‚relationship‘, maybe not friendship, but something that will lift up your mood when you feel a bit blue. It comes usually unexpected. But the more unexpected, the stronger effect :)

6) work – That is something that is really hard to put on the list. A friend of mine, who has a wonderful and responsible and exciting job that is actually something that she loves and that fulfils her, says that it is one of the things in her life that she finds as the biggest support. And to be honest, I can imagine having the same. Although I don’t have it right now (for quite some time), coz my job is rather ordinary and not that much fulfilling and not any creative either, I think it can bring you a lot of wonderful moments and feelings if you simply find out that you have solved some difficult task, fixed some problem, found a solution that might help you in future or maybe achieved something that other people will appreciate. As a teacher, I remember that the best moments have been those when I can see that my students have learned something and that it has helped them to achieve something, to move forward or simply given them the joy of understanding it. It brings me a lot of pleasure, too.

7) belief – I am catholic. I do believe in God. Yet I’m far from being a proper Christian and putting all my life unconditionally in the hands of God. I do want to trust Him, I’d love to find a way how to talk to him, but I simply cannot get there. There’s too much of this and that and mix of other philosophies and things I simply don’t understand, don’t agree or don’t want to give up, so I’ll never be a proper one. But I believe that if we believe in the Good, if we believe in ourselves (as the imperfect mirror images of the perfect original) and put aside our selfishness and pride, the essential thing that remains is that should able to live our life well, not causing any harm to any one, doing our best and trying not to lose hope or give up when things don’t go the way we've expected them to.

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